your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
