I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
