a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
