Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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