just tell him i said nine months
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So vagazzling was a success
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
