if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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