He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I think people are normalizing furries
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
