I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
