why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
