he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
