saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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