She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
