Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
