so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
