I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
