so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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