I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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