what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
