would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
