I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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