She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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