I wish I only lived at night.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
