I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
