just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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