is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
