I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize