I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
