i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
