ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
