What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
