She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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