Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My liver just broke up with me...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
