it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
