Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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