I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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