If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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