Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
