ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
