I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
