playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
did i just pee glitter
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
