You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize