I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
