Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
