8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
