omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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