brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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