he shaved USA in his pubs
i think i have herpe
just one?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
