man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize