Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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