I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Actions speak louder than pants.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
