that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
