he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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