so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
