rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
