I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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