therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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