Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
