Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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