Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize