My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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