I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
