quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
