drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
