from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
