i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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